My No Column, Column
By: Allison Kugel
“Shoulda, coulda, and woulda won’t get it done. In attacking adversity, only a positive attitude, alertness, and regrouping to basics can launch a comeback.” – Pat Riley
Yes, you read that right. This is my no column, column. This morning I bounced into work, beaming with pride as I declared to my co-workers that my editorial work was “ahead of schedule.” This day would be a cakewalk. News done – check; covers done – check; calendar complete – check; entertainment feature laid out – major check! Just one last minor detail… what’s that thing I need to do again? I drummed my fingers on the desk and then jumped to attention with a start. My column!! My weekly dose of shared inspiration slid off this week’s bouffet table like an off balance gravy boat.
“Okay, Allison, think of something perfectly genius… crickets… any second now…”
Wait. Something’s coming. “I could really use a snickers bar.”
“Great! That’s the deepest thought you can drum up today? Nice work kid!” Cue the “Meh” emoji.
Suddenly a humorously vintage thought drifted through my mind; a Seinfeld reference. Jerry Seinfeld’s fictional pitch to NBC executives: “It’s a show about nothing (sorry for the obscure reference, millennials).” If it’s good enough for Seinfeld?
So here is my column about nothing, or rather a very big something. The elephant in the room, if you will. That something I am referring to are the moments in life that are so significant that you’re at a loss for words and you realize how limiting the English language can be. Sometimes it simply fails you. Well, that’s been my week. In short, I’m processing, people.
Raise your hand if you have ever been in an intensely emotional conversation with someone significant in your life, and you are feeling so much in that moment that you cannot open your mouth to utter a single meaningful word. The other party searches your eyes, trying to decode your thoughts through osmosis as your innards scream out a million different things that your mouth won’t or can’t.
I often think of my mind as a rubber band. I stretch it and stretch it, and tap it dry like a maple tree being squeezed of its last droplet of sap (sorry for mixing analogies), and sometimes it begs for a bit of slack; a week off to put its feet up, have a beer (or in my case, chocolate) and watch some reality TV. High brow stuff like HGTV’s House Hunters, not Jersey Shore. My rogue mind doesn’t go totally off the rails, thank you. Oh, and a massage would be nice too. So who am I to deny it that right? I would say its acting like a diva, but that would sound judgy.
Okay mind, you can chillax this week. After all, it’s almost Thanksgiving, which is almost the holidays, which is really almost vacation, right? Sounds good to me!
Let me know when you’ve given yourself permission slips in your own life to let it all go for a bit.